ANOMALY

Book Two: Fallacy - Chapter 11 - Steal

2012-02-28T11:25:00.000-08:00

Steal

Our gateway to life seems to be one of many carefully guarded and not always open to welcoming arms. Women that still carry the faintest smell of the withering holy bloodline required personal attention from him. If a soul is still transparent and somehow remained mostly pure of all forms of malice that have become an integral part of the lowlifes’ existence, he handled them himself.

It was a wintry night and it looked like the elements were trying to send a useless warning for what was about to happen to my mother. The thunder and lightning hammered at the hospital windows… he walked in with his bold head and icy blue eyes and eyed with indifference the helpless woman that has just counted to silence. He forcefully cupped her barely visible infant’s delicate head and limbs with steal forceps pulling my baby brother out.

The rain showers were already silenced as he passed on the screaming little twisted body to his assistant and stitched shut the crime scene with his usual professional poise.

That commonly accepted procedure performed by the so called brilliant master in the field caused a permanent damage to the valuable baby boy that had the potential to be wise beyond his years or may be one day father one.

My mother’s nightmares and breakdowns became worse and in despair she diminished as she was accused of bearing her likeness that she was diseased and that is why the child is never going to be normal or independent.

His little limp, involuntary wavy arm, his slightly twisted tongue and very short temper at his futility, contributed to my mother’s complete down fall as she saw in him her own image and from the standard whispers, twisted lips and condescending gazes, an echo of her utter failure.

She could no longer stand the devastation and the accusations in my father’s eyes, thanks to his long transfers and short breaks we had a chance to go to my grandmother whose weak heart prevented her from leaving the comfort of her room. Her place was always a Mecca for the whole family it was where we all had a chance at a genuine life.

I was too small to understand the awkwardness of my conditions and was forced at an early age to get used to the isolation and to what my mother had to offer when awake…. Staring at the distance outside our window, sometimes she looked at me in a way that told me she wished something was wrong with me too.

Book Two: Fallacy - Chapter 10 - Broken

2012-02-28T11:20:00.000-08:00

Broken

The women in my family were extremely beautiful and unbelievably vulnerable…Flawless bodies and skin, wide hazel olive eyes, lush long sun-kissed locks and most of all so tame to be taken seriously…educated in the arts of class and sciences, kind to others but damaging to each other and themselves.

Deprived of Oxygen at birth from a double twisted umbilical cord, the most beautiful of them all was destined to be slow and prone to internalizing criticism from a community that values skin color over prudence and favors one child over another if one has rosier cheeks and a wittier mouth.

Brought up to a constantly absent father and an overwhelmed mother that had to deal with eight pregnancies, out of which five have survived and three never saw the light of day, my mum was destined to be… broken.

They thought marriage could fix her tantrums since slashing her self-esteem and self worth has never been motivation enough for her to take it without being hurt.

They thought becoming her own master would give her the space she may need to become accepted. Since she wasn’t tactful enough to fall in love with someone who would love her back she became qualified for matchmaking. My father, a handsome self-made soldier with a plan to rise to top military ranks and to collect a classy goddess on the way sealed the deal.

Thinking she finally made it she has glowed for a short while, but the failure to measure up to domestic expectations caught up with her short lived assumption. She found refuge in her love for birds and drawing it helped her through the race to become a mother… until I was finally born.

Probably the best thing she has heard is the words of an Armenian nurse “you have given birth to an apple not a child”… yet She never felt that the success of that task was completed because of her, she has long lost faith in that. She was happy for catching up in the eternal competition with her favored sister but soon was pulled down.

They call it post-delivery depression when you no longer want to do anything for your new born. When you are put under and you wake up a mother! … find it hard to accept that another life depends on you when you can barely put together your own.

I owe my first year on earth to a wonderful woman that must have been an angel in another life, my mum’s aunt. She was a kind warm widow I don’t recall her in any state other than smiling. Somehow we all ended up under the same roof when all the men found their way on and out of this world.

Between her relapses my mum always confessed to me that she slept while her aunt held me for her to be nursed, sang to me to sleep and constantly held me in her lap. My own grandmother was nursing her open wounds in another room after one of the earliest successful open heart surgeries performed at the time.

My dad came back to find me crawling and showered me with photos he was so thrilled I was normal, he was already poisoned against my mother like everybody else ...

Book Two: Fallacy - Chapter 9 - TOUCHED

2012-01-20T09:44:00.000-08:00

Touched

It has never occurred to me as I tried to fill in the gaps in my understanding of the most common story ever told that one day I would have multiple theories about everything that went wrong ever since in the world and in my life.

Paradise lost and apparently humanity, Sanity and peace became a farfetched dream.

I was in a constant state of alone-ness filled only by my analytical one track mind. I couldn’t help but wonder what possible forms of mischief has touched me and those whom I love and ruined the world at large as well. To what extent an evil scheme beyond our range of understanding could have influenced and messed up every single aspect of our lives.

I’ve gradually started to see, to have an eye for what might have happened patching and putting one and one together based on that main concept; how does any of it serve this evil purpose and how would it serve in the grand scheme of things to picture the larger realm of the earth; as the battle field…

I have been experiencing doses of fear which may seem on the surface harsh but now I wouldn’t trade what fate chose for me for the knowledge that brought insight and peace to my soul. I had to question every main stream concept and re-evaluate everything in the light of that demonic scheme apart from my acquired convictions; I relied solely on my reason and research putting side by side my life next to that of everyone else…

Book Two: Fallacy - Chapter 8 - Profile

2011-12-20T10:41:00.000-08:00

Profile

Civilization eaters, knowledge exterminators and diligent profilers; that is if you try hard to pin them down. In movies they call them aliens, spirits, the living dead, sometimes vampires other times demons to add to the myth and to further hide the truth about their existence.

They have marked you and classified you and you have been led into channels of identification that would help them choose the right plan for claiming your soul.

You will be born and surrounded with all the malice in the world and you will be content to accept falsehood as for granted because true knowledge is a luxury that you must be denied.

Your very features, lands, roots and history will be a stigma that you have to be truly strong of heart to survive the “Mark of the Beast.”

You will see it in the eyes of people in the way they regard you or choose to neglect you based on their preconceived notions deeply rooted inside them, notions they don’t even know how they have become an integral part of their consciousness about others!

You are destined to carry your profile with shame if you are born a slave in the grand hierarchy of man and unfortunately the majority is.

The Prince succeeded in incepting them throughout the centuries seizing the will of those who sought power and establishing the Empire of the “Dragon” breeding his own line of thirteen kings; merciless rulers who thrive in bringing ancient civilizations that once led man towards the light of knowledge and sciences but now can hardly see their way in the dark.

Book Two: Fallacy - Chapter 7 - Dissection

2011-12-18T12:36:00.000-08:00

Dissection

For years since the fall of Adam, since Eve was blamed for being the cause of all evil, the first form of the new structure created by the prince has materialized. The very first bond between man and woman was penetrated, it didn’t matter whether she was really to blame or not; she could always take the blame for being subordinate, the weaker species. A hierarchy for the fittest is the key to breaking this fake myth of the glory of man.

After a careful study that involved mapping every single nerve in human brains and being, the conclusion was, man can be defeated, and there is no hidden secret of perfection. Greed, envy and vanity lured Adam to the forbidden fruit, tricked his son into killing his brother. Yes! The plan was doing just fine. But in time that first tribe had to disintegrate.

The Prince saw their new evolving genes, new shapes and colors, more reasons to create havoc and chaos if he could plant the right seeds, man will take care of them growing.

The joy of putting theory to practice and proving that such evils lurk there in man’s heart too! Light has always been his favorite! He thought he could incept it in the hearts of those who were light in physique to feel superior … only through division and dissection man would parish.

He chose a new location up in the North over remote seas that no one dares to cross, to stay close to those he planned to influence for a long scheme that involved war, bloodshed and slavery; one that involved mass murder, rotting corpses and plagues. He thought his plans should win him the race with humans in the pit they both got themselves into. ..

Book Two: Fallacy - Chapter 6 - Scheme

2011-12-18T12:33:00.000-08:00

Scheme

It wasn’t the first form of envy or vanity; both earthly creatures have been through senseless wars over resources, power and survival. But this specific one marked the beginning of an eternal animosity, a careful scheme to enslave man and prove the Originator wrong, or maybe just pure revenge to have that miniature creature pay for his fall from grace, his and his followers’ eternal damnation.

He demanded a chance, a fair game, he admitted his weakness but never went back on his foul wrath on the contrary, he promised to spend every second in diverting man from the right path, if only he is given the option, the chance to prove it!

The Originator saw in the proposal a potential in seeing humanity evolve and for the unseen to come back and seek his light. He knew his creation; he designed them in hope that one day they would complement each other and glorify his intend.

Not only did the prince receive an extension till the Originator chooses to fold the universe but also given an access to the path drawn to generations to come. He was granted unlimited penetration to the minds and bodies of man. He is to have absolute control of those who stray after their evil thoughts.

Laws strictly scripted in his black book of Fallacy became the base for determining the boundaries between the two worlds and he knew how to get his way around them… The smile found its way back to his beautiful face as he saw in his own mind … the fall of man.

Book Two: Fallacy - Chapter 5 - Fallen

2011-12-18T12:30:00.000-08:00

Fallen

The Prince usually assumed the prettiest forms when summoned to the high courts. He dragged a feathery pearlescent tail matching in its length four massive wings, two resting just below his crowned head and two entwined over his back, the rest was just the best form that the originator chose not for him but for man; no matter how he tried it remained the most beautiful and higher form.

So the feeble one wasn’t there, that was a good sign, he’s still privileged, he had to smile as he approached the throne and bowed stretching all. It has been a while since he was recalled, Gabriel and Michael never seized to amaze him with their light, multiple wings and the jewels they drip with every move! He has always tried to emulate that particular glow but fire in essence can’t reflect such radiance, it annoyed him that they were made of light but he knew their type of commitment is not to be envied.

He was grateful he was his own king… the smile stretched wider as he could recognize the familiar voice in his head asking him to stand up and assume his position among the noble crowd.

Again the central vision on the Arch of the Covenant slowly erased the smile and darkened the glow a little from his contours. He dragged his gaze and tried to push away the vain thoughts, he couldn’t risk contaminating his record before the pure ones.

As they all lined in response to their inner voices, the order to bow in recognition of choosing Adam the representative of heaven on earth… the first human to inherit the blue planet, the first holy king and messenger and the beginning of a new era that of man.

His erected dimmed body stood in contrast with the void that was filled with obedient backs expanding to the horizons. His loud refusal brought them all to a standing position. It was a long scream decoded “I’m better than him; you made me of Fire and him of Clay!” His involuntary impulse instantly darkened the sphere causing a low rumble and humming prayers.

The words he received fell like burning fire in his head, all the dimness gathered and reversed back to his body with a slash that caused him to fall… the shock of hitting familiar rocky ground for a moment distracted him from the wording “You have been cast out for eternity and cursed till the day of judgment!” the voice kept pulsing all over his consciousness…

Book Two: Fallacy - Chapter 4 - Path

2011-12-18T12:26:00.001-08:00

Path

His anger built up with more stories of a mate so beautiful unlike the loud ones they were used to from the tribes. Human females for him had the wildest imaginations and were obsessed with their bodies but this one they say was made in every aspect to please the feeble one and they roamed their spot oblivious to the mayhem their kind have created over the times.

She smelled delicious and he has sniffed every one of them at birth but this one he couldn’t recognize her scent! It has infuriated him to know he could miss the birth of any and marking it to be the assigned ride for one of his entourage.

His sense of betrayal couldn’t have been worse when the Prince was summoned to recognize the accomplishment of the feeble one before the Originator. It was customary to honor those who please The Originator and he has been missing on those events for decades or is it more? He couldn’t recall! What did he do wrong? How do you spend eternity without some little game?

The court was filled with the Monarch angels who bowed politely as he rushed through towards the Arch of the Covenant, a huge display of the path designed by the Originator. It was on, not concealed from his gaze as usual. Areas that marked the future were dimmed but he could see past flashes of crimes and terror among his clan and the savages… he gazed away to the central live vision of Adam and Eve smiling at their newborn and praying to the Originator for their bliss.

Book Two: Fallacy - Chapter 3 - Chosen

2011-12-18T12:22:00.000-08:00

Chosen

For Centuries the Prince and his clan thrived in the privileges granted to them by the Originator. He never regarded those two footed new creatures with anything more than the occasional amusement. He heard of this awkward one who didn’t run from the freak show that kept him and his kin entertained for eternity.

But his attention was grabbed when he realized the Originator has developed an interest in that particular male and ordered to grow in his way a special garden to be set aside from the savagery of his fellow villagers. The Prince couldn’t stand the idea of being denied such a gift despite his loyalty to his maker, he always regarded his mischief a justified one, enslavement is for the weak, that’s the law of the jungle and out there he was the master!

Everything was rightfully his! The Originator was always clear about freewill, but HE never offered him a special garden, not that he needed one, but nevertheless!

The dark one’s curiosity and humiliation grew with the news that the chosen one was named and is constantly receiving guidance and never fails to please his Lord with his desire for knowledge and naming his surroundings.

The Prince couldn’t resist seeing for himself the lush trees and streaming waters perfectly shaped for the needs of the sleeping man who looked harmless and motionless as he inserted his hair-thin ends in his ears to examine his insides, recoiling with disdain; there was nothing special about this dark skinned feeble one!

Book Two: Fallacy - Chapter 2 - Infection

2011-12-18T12:19:00.000-08:00

Infection

I’m very sorry to tell you but no matter what you do, you got infected! Your nerve system has been hacked from the second you took your first breath of fresh air. I’m very sorry to tell you that inside your body you harbor an infection that you will have to deal with for the rest of your life.

I know it sounds crazy and way superstitious for our modern tastes but whether we like it or not it is a reality that we can choose to ignore or deal with. It’s a very discreet type of infection one that also emerged from vanity and because it is hard to make out the connection, I will gladly explain it to you.

Before our bodies have originated, before our sensualities and feelings were designed, form was illusive to the original inhabitants of our world. They expanded their entities as far as they wanted. Crossed destinations at a glimpse reaching out and stretching over; thinking and building their virtual constructions and portals in worlds we have started to capture digitally only recently with the advancement of our younger civilization or that which we chose to call a civilization.

With the creation of humans, it didn’t strike them that walking on two is such a privilege since those creatures were acting just like the ones on four. It was fun to freak them out at night by taking forms which made the humans scared for their pointless life.

It was fun at the beginning to see how those lower humans were shedding the blood of one another and sacrificing their best to please them. They felt like Gods always proud of their superiority as they regarded humans as their slaves, their ride… Until one of the savages displayed an unusual pattern in behavior that deserved their undivided attention.

Book Two: Fallacy - Chapter 1 - Vanity

2011-12-18T12:14:00.000-08:00

Vanity

“Vanity is my favorite sin!” said Al Pacino in “The Devil’s Advocate,” one of my favorite films, and that was so true when I gave it more thought than the usual. It is the reason and the core of all clashes. It’s that inner feeling of self-worth that gets one’s ego blown out of proportions pulling others way below in your gaze.

It’s the point when you start to determine your value in comparison to others and most of the time if you fancy yourself on a high rank on any mundane scale; it’s based on failure rather than accomplishment. It’s that mental process of negative assessments of a chosen target of envy, you wish it never existed because since it did you have been unsatisfied with who you are… and if one analyzes any given strife, any given conflict, it will eventually find its roots in Vanity.

The fuss could be about love, power, type, rank, size, class, beauty, race, belief, you name it, it will all come around to that feeling “I am better than you, I hate you, I wish you never existed.” When you fall in the trap of Vanity your sense of self value immediately diminishes because you have set a measure which limits you anyhow. You get stuck in an internalized hierarchy you won’t escape until you refocus your energy on how to boost YOU aside from finding fault with others and soothing yourself by a false sense of superiority.

The desire to wipe competition became the game of all games; the first trick in the book of “Falacy;” one that will go against everything good and right and straight.

It’s the essence of this alternative crooked path carved by the prince purely for revenge…

Book Two: Fallacy

2011-12-04T10:31:00.000-08:00

Anomaly

Book Two

Fallacy

I wanted to speak my mind

and council the hurt and seek love

mostly unheard berried under

since hate prevailed, I don't know when

but who cares its the now that matters

and I can hardly wait for those who suffered

all around the earth of those unbreakable chains

celebrated for an era gone but their pull is still there

I stretch my nine arms towards the corners of this earth

hoping my warmth revives the frozen souls meant to stand still

and live no more, I nudge and pull their twisted bodies withered

under disdain but they look at me in disbelief blinking with eyes

familiar with darkness and forgetful of the beams

Can't you see you have been made with care? Carvings and lines of you

belong to your reflection and gifts only owned by you?

How can I convince you; love is your cure? when all eyes around you

made you so unsure? I could only think of nothing other than tracing

the maps of your souls and pull you upright my rainbows you have twisted

colorless for so long ...now bother no more

Book One: The Shield - Chapter Eighteen - Chalice

2011-10-15T04:55:00.000-07:00

Chalice

I often traced my wounds, there were stitches across and below; a fading luminous line, a faint thin bulge marking the place of my lost chalice. My scars were barely visible now but they were engraved deeply into my soul, at the limited space that was filled with my being. It marked me, defining and identifying a body to be recognized by those who read and knew the signs.

The knights of the Temples roamed the earths in search of the lost chalice or the Holy Grail, misguided and oblivious to meaning of the clue that was left to them. They knew they must find that precious object to find their peace but they couldn't realize the fact that it was a defining mark not a physical object. It was one of the remaining keys to finding me. The lost chalice is my lost womb! The Holy Grail is my blessed chamber that bore my child but was savagely ravished and lost in child birth…

As long as the knowledge people seized to comprehend the ulterior meanings of the clues left to them by their seer ancestors, they failed in their quests and chased ghosts. The revelations, the uncovering of hidden truths was denied to the misguided who were blinded from grasping the layers of meaning to the simple words chalice and grail.

My attributes were prophesied but as they traveled in times, centuries and decades, their meanings were lost and twisted. Only frail links remained and found their static illusive meanings for times and times again taking the lost by the hand.

The chalice, the grail, the vessel carried the holy blood line from one woman to another. Women who carried the saviors of their times and maintained the bloodline of God’s kings alive.

These women can no longer be traced their DNA has mixed with too many generations spread over vast lands. But this time fate brought back two drifting lines together and one Holy Grail received its call to revive the lost word once again.

When the chalice died in the earthly battle it was kept in a glass jar filled with a clear liquid it was rosy and tiny from defeat. as it found its way to the dusty stockrooms of bribed courts.

It hugged itself satisfied with the journey and the sacrifice before the light was out, the doors where slammed and the records were lost.

That was another knot untied as I kept tracing the clues that gave shape to my new convictions.

I was on the path, no longer on search; it was the time for Revelations to

Know the hidden secrets and to share them with the world. It is 2012,

The world should come to an end doesn’t it? An Awakening, a calling, an apocalypse should occur doesn’t it?

Everything is timed and preordained but the choice is ours, the free will takes charge as we tread on the path of fate. Sacrifices have to be made… I have faced death, evil and ignorance and finally stated out my findings. I was persecuted by my nearest of kin, criticized by some who called themselves friends and found fellow free thinkers who applauded in skepticism as well as relief that salvation can be sought beyond attire and that knowledge is relative.

Those two major findings formed the corner stone for my newly found identity. I will give an honest account of what has been, what is and what to become and make way for the fruit of my chalice to spread the light not only to our species but to that of the fallen for they were promised heaven too…

Book One: The Shield - Chapter Seventeen - UNVEILED

2011-10-15T04:53:00.000-07:00

Unveiled

I was ecstatic with my findings; I was just in awe to the rewarding outcome of my research! It was my sealed document to true inner freedom. I felt for the first time ever that I am a free soul and my rights were asserted by my maker and his message.

I was deeply saddened, however by the gravity of the burden to confront such a fundamental conviction if not yet to the world at least to the people close to me.

I had to verify again and again that all words fell in place to form my far accurate hypothesis before I make the big move and go against the mainstream single handedly.

All was perfect; every word came together in support of my findings! My heart was beating slower now that I’m assured. I closed my eyes to sleep at last it was a night I spent alone for the first time as my family was away.

A few hours after midnight I opened my eyes and saw a woman wrapped like a black cocoon, mummified in thick threaded material and barely lifting the first layer…

I was engulfed by fear and a realization I wasn’t sleeping and I was shivering form the visual that revealed more than what words can say.

I understood that my discovery despite its huge magnitude, it is but a faint layer of deeper restrictions to unravel.

I sunk back under my covers squeezed my eyes shut and prayed for protection and light.. As warmth found its way to my frozen limbs, I slipped finally into a deep slumber, I have been mentally and emotionally exhausted, I needed a sanity recharge … but I was finally sure of what I want and what I will do and my conscience was at a gloriously found state of peace I have never known in my life.

As I fell into a deep deserved slumber, I took my decision to unveil and for my hair to meet the sun at last and whip in defiance prying eyes.

Tomorrow is another day, I told my self .. the “Hows” can wait..

Book One: The Shield - Chapter Sixteen - DEFIANCE

2011-10-15T04:50:00.000-07:00

Defiance

After over thirteen years of defying male objectification with what I thought was the only known way to claim my body with that head cover. The morals embraced around me and my invisibility in these lands created no need for it, however the question remained in my head was it really a commandment?

Pious women of all beliefs demonstrated their submission to their creator by accepting this piece of cloth and by bearing the headaches, the heat and the suffocation, needless to say the disdain and ridicule of anyone who thinks he knows better.

But the real question for me at this point was: Was that what the originator requested of women to do for real or was the text twisted some how to make us believe it meant so?

I couldn’t put an end to my inner conflict that between my newly found conviction that the text has to be right but the interpretation has got to be wrong! The proof was my salvation and the victory in what I thought was the first of a line of discoveries was followed by more as they started to reveal themselves to me!

I began to realize that I have moved on to a productive stage one that is the result of years of consumption and observation. I felt like a surgeon who has studied for years and finally made it to the operation room it was critical to make the right incision and seal it clean.

I read it over and over and suddenly it became crystal clear the message was the complete opposite of what is believed, unbelievably the complete opposite! It was a stroke of genius of the schemer to just play with a single word which was really easy to overlook when you read with preconceived instructions wrapped with strict warnings of obedience without reasoning.

It was a statement to simply use covers to conceal the bust, a single undefined word suggesting using covers to conceal curves that somehow in the interpretation was used as “head” covers instead! The switch was so subtle and so easy to miss because of the sacred nature of that belief!

Another uninterrupted verse and a rather deliberately ignored one actually states that a woman’s head is excluded from covering yet body parts which invoke physical appeal apart from head should be modestly clad!

So way was something as logically and obvious would be mentioned in the first place? The simple answer which lay itself ahead of me was simply because women have been forced to believe this is who they are, objects of sex that have to be shamefully concealed and will remain to be told so!
The Originator had to put an end to it but unfortunately it was lost in translation.. or deliberately miss-located, I believed.

Book One: The Shield - Chapter Fifteen - HAVEN

2011-10-15T04:46:00.000-07:00

Haven

If there was ever a place that can be called a Utopia; a true haven, or a Godly reward that a human could receive as residence, I was sent to it!

My prayers and calls were finally answered and the chance to leave and move elsewhere after those tough couple of years unbelievably became a reality. I suddenly opened my eyes in the morning to the view of large white sailboats passing across the horizon.

I knew instantly that this was the physical materialization of a two-year old vision into reality. Had I the power to decipher the messages my brain receives while sleeping; I would have saved myself the pain of anticipation. I would have known my maker hadn’t forsaken me…

I came to lands blessed with advancement, opportunity and a set of right values and codes that all people, despite their diversity, abided by. I should have felt a stranger but instead I felt at home. It took me over seven months to build up a home settle in, find my way and above all do something of value to help my family back home, just when their life was torn apart by the need and neglect.

Surrounded by the unique multiple faces of all races that shared a desire to coexist and share the same space without causing others harm made me see how the originator has wished for us to be.

I felt a freedom I have never known that of a spirit that is unquestioned and un-judged. I have changed completely I have developed a boldness I never dared to reveal before. I expressed thoughts which were haunting me but fear of doing the wrong thing always stopped me. But this time I decided to unleash some held back ideas and do the proper search again to find verified truths.

I looked deeper into verses that for ages were believed to have put massive restrictions on women’s attire. I read them over and over, dug the roots of the words and compared their use in other contexts in the scripture and recalled the prayers to reveal all to me. The interpretation of man seemed to me so lacking and defying the logic of existence in universal terrain.

Driven perhaps by the immense heat and humidity I was nudged into defying the text which brought upon women in my region compulsory attire. My logic was that the understanding has to be wrong but the text must be right! And if the text is right what is it trying to say and why males interpreted it this way and above all why was it accepted as a non negotiable command if it is after all a mere point of view?

Book One: The Shield - Chapter Fourteen - ESCAPE

2011-10-15T04:43:00.000-07:00

Escape

Things were getting clearer now, the pieces of the identity puzzle were completed, now that my confusions were answered. I had to trust my heart that these clues weren’t a coincidence, that there was no room for doubts at this moment. I was far ahead in my quest to regress and have fears or doubts about my newly discovered identity and most importantly that of my child.

I finally realized this must be why I was brought back to my birth place! it wasn’t because I was only tested and tried. It was also to show me the journey is far from over and that this return was essential to affirm my conviction and remove any seeds of doubt. Suddenly everything I have been through was meaningful, fulfilling and unrepentant.

My knowledge of my son’s holy bloodline and the nature of the place he should come from did seem pretty sensible in the stage we were currently at. It wasn’t that I was digging, I was just thinking and the answer incidentally came my way! That was proof enough that I was still sane in my conclusions! Which seem to find support from no one other than my feeble, isolated mind.

What is to come and what is to do, I had no clue. I was dreaming of departure, of a release. I was happy with my asserted delusions but drained of the positive energy that is needed to have a grand purpose whatever it is. Life was closing around us day by day. I sensed a closure but didn’t see the portal out of it. The hope and the absolute confidence that we weren’t to be left or abandoned now that I need to learn no more, kept me whole.

I reassessed my goals and asked myself what my range of action is and what possible role I can assume on the wait for the next revelation or clue. My child’s protection and development was first priority, saving those who are around me is second and finding a way to reach out to the globe was third. I have decided I can’t surpass my given condition therefore I might as well make the best of it to the best of my ability.

I wasn’t aware that while I nurtured the gifts and interests of my twelve year old son, assisted my family and guided the young helpless, needless to say clueless youth on their daily puzzling challenges whether to get their degrees or to get through the day, that we were about to be saved. That I have unconsciously passed that tough stage of my life and a great reward lay ahead.

Book One: The Shield - Chapter Thirteen - REGRESSION

2011-10-15T04:40:00.000-07:00

Regression

I fell to my knees; I failed to find meaning in those two years I spent on my home land. The love and the sacrifices I made to make my stay worthwhile drained the life out of me. I needed to cry out, speak to Him, ask for my release. I wanted my peace of mind back, my solitude, my aloneness with my Maker. I was happy absorbed in my illusions and divine fantasies. In reality, there was loss and pain that I failed to bare.

I couldn’t stop the words, the silent involuntary prayers “Please take me away from this place where injustice reside.” My will to leave overcame my desire to be near my loved ones. I had an innate feeling that if I leave things will get better because evil will follow and they would find peace. They didn’t have the strength nor the knowledge and they weren’t ready to receive it from me and I wasn’t ready to deliver it to them. It would have been the death of my credibility and a proof of a once-trusted sanity lost.

“Please, take me away from these lands where residents do injustice….” Life was tightening its grip and the hope for my lovely son to blossom there was lost to me.

As I finally closed my sleepy eyes once, I saw gorgeous white sails one following the other. I saw windows with waters up to their mid sections, I saw awe in my eyes to the view I’m seeing. Tall foreign men with suits and puppies and a huge ship covered with jewels and gold engravings … I woke up and the breath I took was filling and fresh like sea breeze. I felt hopeful and calm...I knew this vision meant something… I knew it is not my subconscious playing games but I couldn’t decipher its codes.

Months passed by, suits were filed against my son’s school, heritage feud, they called it. I was paralyzed with despair. I began to suspect my sanity.

There was a final missing clue to the identity of this mythical female and her wondrous child. They had to be descendants of the worthy ancestors; A royal bloodline. I couldn’t possibly know that I only knew my maternal family tree could be traced to Jerusalem and Albanian Royalty but to my surprise with absolutely no introductions, my father in law told us that a mysterious family member is trying to trace their family roots to the last off spring of the holy prophet. It was my son’s great grandfather!

Another inexplicable incident followed, I used to drop my neighborly colleague on my way and she was truly grateful for such a little thing. As we passed the multiple check points I expressed my confusion of the excessive security in our region. Out of no where, she looked at me and said “You know, it’s believed The One will emerge from this mountain…” I was struck by her strangely relevant comment to my inner doubts. “What mountain?” for a split second I forgot that we live on top of the only inhabited plateau in Egypt.

Book One: The Shield - Chapter Twelve - Home

2011-10-15T04:37:00.000-07:00

Home

Somehow with my newly acquired knowledge an end was put to our six years of departure from my homeland; a sudden misfortune lead us to return home. I was not excited about returning to the place I dreaded and the people that negatively affected my family’s peace. Returning to the sad memories.It felt like a painful blow to my hopes to secure the best education for my child. It meant he will be influenced by the very vices I have escaped before.

Did my challenge begin? Was I thrown back now to do something about it; now that I know how things are? I couldn’t encompass the good aspects of this move. The only thing that kept me whole was my absolute trust in the Originator that I knew for sure he was my companion wherever he placed me. I asked him to use me and this must be it.

How empty I felt, coming back filled with spiritual knowledge, to find my people in a state of trance, lulled by poisoned breaths, and filled with envy and need. I was suppressed in my own closed world, afraid to reach beyond the wide gap of buried brains, beyond perpetual thriving in the useless and the empty.

Faced by the everlasting turmoil of my parents’ conditions, a state they never wish to change or improve. I had to bare the twists and twitches of my insides every time I try to make things better and fail.

My sun disappeared in the daily eclipses of working life, struggled to teach misguided children the creations of human artists and the art of being normal. I could feel my energy fading with each task that I successfully accomplished with strain. Simple interactions with the lost, the materialistic and the vain turned my flames into ashes.

I knew my knowledge will unleash fire. I knew if I see, I will be seen. I was in a state of despair going around in a vicious circle not knowing what’s next. Pushing away a tightened knot that seeks to choke me, I saw the pain that was being inflicted onto the nearest to my heart. Knowing I might have brought it on them with enemies turning against every thing I treasure, trying to break my power through them. It was my first hard and true test.

I understood such roles and missions are only assigned to the worthy. I had no history to rely on and I was supposed to create one, prove my competence. Did I succeed? I think I barely passed. I think I was in for further assessment, more pressure. Everything started to fall apart. My child’s school was disintegrating. My husband felt devalued and unsatisfied at his work. I was giving much more than I was credited for at mine. Life has become an assimilation of hell. I could visualize a cynical smile fading from under; from above from every direction I looked.

Book One: The Shield - Chapter Eleven - THE SUN

2011-10-15T04:31:00.000-07:00

The Sun

The Sun, the light, the warmth, the guidance, the path of the righteous create the aura; define the nature of the woman! She is engulfed with light; every thing about her is luminous! Light should be an integral part of her being, her mind and her physique, as distinct and noticeable as the sun, I believe!

Did those qualities fit me? Am I a bringer of light? Am I clothed with the sun? I couldn’t see a strong resemblance in my person nor could I define my purpose if I was. I was confused more than ever… Since I was given a second chance in life, being grateful, I did every thing I could to help others and learn the teachings of my maker to express how thankful I was for resurrecting me from the dead, for saving the most precious soul to me, my moon, my sun, my son! for reviving my man’s love after an inexplicable change of heart, for sending me to the wilderness to escape the pressures that almost destroyed my family.

I realized more than ever that everything that happened to me had further dimensions beyond what lied before my eyes. Reading the prophetic words showed me the unseen struggle that took place while I thought I had nothing, no one to care for me. I became aware of the dangers that surround my knowledge and that each step towards revealing the hidden truths, the schemes and my inevitable victory in an unknown battle to me made my situation all the more critical.

I realized that the prince of darkness must have known all along that a woman and child will challenge him and his plans to show the maker that we are worthless creatures, as vain and as proud and self engaged as he once was and still is. He must have attempted to abort and suffocate the breathing souls in many wombs to interfere with destiny. Yes! With all his might and power he had the access to control circumstances that would terminate the coming of any potential Savior.

He destroyed good marriages, killed innocent fetuses by replacing knowledge with ignorance, casting spells of hatred among people as early as he could. He has secured to the best of his wholesome ability that men will remain oppressive, women will be exploited and children will lose their innocence and their trust in the ones who brought them to life.

I looked around me saw the workings of his schemes everywhere, everyone got a taste of the poison… I have had it all, been through it all but I chose to see through it, to understand it and overcome it, that is why the maker chose Me! that’s why he spared and saved Me! An Army of honorable angels fought for my life and the life of my child, a fearsome battle to push away the wrath of the dragon that waited to devour us.

Book One: The Shield - Chapter Ten - REVELATIONS

2011-10-15T04:28:00.000-07:00

Revelations

The opportunity to study the ancient scriptures opened itself before me as an honorable woman of the north, from Europe, a traveler like me, announced her will to teach women the word of her Lord… I saw in her offer a possible chance to understand previous messages that are new to me…

She kindly accepted to help me… her eyes reflected doubt and fear of my intentions … I was clichéd as the enemy …I didn’t fit in the criteria of potential followers of her beliefs… I explained to her what I stood for, that I don’t see any member of humanity as an enemy that I search for the common word and that I wish to learn the differences that brought us apart and divided the word of the Originator.

To her, I was a mysterious, unfathomable woman as our discussions were calm and peaceful unlike what she had anticipated … she told me to read and ask for the revelations to disclose their secrets to me in order to believe… I prayed to my Maker to reveal to me why I am the way I am … why I fail to conform like the others … what Is the out come of my quest.

I formed a new circle which also found a multitude of interested friends from all over the world of all colors and beliefs… they came happily to my gatherings and we had the time of our lives sharing confusions … trying to understand our differences … happy to co-exist, excited to enjoy our universal commonality. We were women who crossed the boundaries of doubt, of hate, of beliefs, of class, of color of everything made to dissect humanity… I taught them my language, and explained my values in their own… they were grateful and returned my kindness with love.

The day I have discovered the prophecy in the final pages of the book of Revelations was the day my world was shattered to pieces. It was the day I realized nothing is going to be the same any more … As I read the signs detailing the familiar life path of a woman destined to challenge the prince of darkness, a woman clothed with the sun, tortured while giving birth to the man child… the journey to the desert… the number of days … one thousand two hundred and sixty days … were astonishingly accurate to the minute I read it.

With eyes dilated with the new realization… I embraced the story as mine I couldn’t deny the similarities … I felt useless yet important … I realized that I got what I asked for but I felt helpless and clueless… I searched for interpretations nothing made sense … no one knew for sure what meaning did the prophecy convey… they viewed it figuratively … I understood it literally as an actual story with actual people a direct portrayal of my life… my path… I am the woman clothed with the sun!

Book One: The Shield - Chapter Nine - THE MOVE

2011-10-15T04:26:00.000-07:00

The Move

For three years I have lived in the eastern desert of the lands blessed by the maker… we were on the move again this time to be sent to the western desert of North Africa a land always coveted and have just been released from siege… not knowing where we were going I pleaded for lands loved by the Originator… I had to believe my plea was answered.

My baby evolved into a gorgeous eight year old… again his major quality was his maturity a man like air recognized by every one he meets… this new location polished his understanding of the world and the diversity of people he got to know and interact with… he was offered the opportunity to learn and befriend the elitists children of literally most of the countries of the world … an interaction that added depth to his childhood experience…

There was an urge within me now that intrigued me to know the ways of others. I left the east with an understanding that the maker has approached humanity at large and that the messages were the same; the ways of leading a path of righteousness and the ways to dodge the prince’s temptation. I was left with the confusion about what happened that divided the word into a multitude of paths?

The desire to find out how common grounds evolved into conflicting interests overcame me… I didn’t know then that every question that scratched my brain was to be answered during the following two years…

I brought along the scriptures I was determined to let the maker show me the way to how it all happened how it was possible for the truth to be twisted … I belonged to the marginalized, the feared because the world we are living in has been controlled for centuries by powerful creatures of the dark who wanted to secure the death and loss of the word.

They have thrived by planting fear of the other; the different, in the hearts of the ignorant… I wanted to cross over the fences to penetrate the walls and understand the power of delusion, the grounds of hate… I wanted to unravel the confusions and open the closed doors for the light to come in…

The move was of extreme significance for my quest … it was one step ahead in a journey of reclamation … I have discovered the ties that was long buried … I found out who I am … my life took a complete turn…

Book One: The Shield - Chapter Eight - CIRCLE

2011-10-15T04:23:00.000-07:00

Circle

To start a new life in a new place once again was a minor challenge I have always been a loner an outsider … I was totally reliant on my inner strength and assurance that I was chosen to be saved and I could simply accomplish any thing..

Though I felt strong with my inner insights I felt I needed to search for the truth for the knowledge treasured by my people… we always tend to follow without reason to accept without questioning the values we live by at a certain point of our lives … I have discovered very few might actually take the trouble to asses the facts that made them non-negotiable …the holy messages state clearly that the chosen ones never took things for granted they have always stopped at the points where their minds refused to yield..

Were the circumstances different then? Were the stated realities so unreasonable and hard to believe? In fact, it has always been one against all.. that was a fact that always triggered my curiosity to re-evaluate everything that constitutes our human knowledge and the truth about good and bad..

I started reading the texts, the interpretations, listened to the biggest names and found the gaps in our convictions… the majority of which are powerful statements with no sound justification of the values that should assist human life…

I have decided that as long as a concept is of true value to the well being of us, the creatures, it must be right and truthful… and if it might constitute harm of any sort it should be eliminated as invalid and unacceptable… this conclusion meant I had to review the causes and the consequences of any given truth on which our lives are shaped… I believed the maker will not ever guide us by means of force or unjustified teachings… the call for using reasonable thinking was flashed over and over as I read his words… it was a call to apply whatever is reasonable to the given lived reality of my time.

Whatever I have discovered I have shared in The Circle… they were a group of friends that I have been blessed to know… women of the day we spoke the same tongue shared the same beliefs but came from different lands… our circle was a time for contemplation, complaints, learning and sometimes dancing … we shared our free time to fill it with our common concerns and desire for the ultimate knowledge we sought..

Book One: The Shield - Chapter Seven - THE CALL

2011-10-15T04:19:00.000-07:00

The Call

It’s commonly believed that to be brought to the holy lands is an answer to His call. The thought itself brought tears to my eyes as I saw for the first time behind blurry gazes his scented ancient temple. I couldn’t imagine that among the constantly changing millions who came for the cleansing visit, my name was picked… My number was up.

We moved to Eastern province of Arabia, for the first time I was among people of all backgrounds. The shyness and lack of social tactfulness alienated me from those who didn’t speak my language, though I spoke theirs fluently. The smiles worked fine but I could see the confusion as my face didn’t match my head.

It’s also commonly believed that women cover their hair because they are ashamed of it, or because they can’t afford the hair dresser or because they are ugly according to the standards of the day. I caused confusion because I didn’t fit any of these profiles, I must have been a sick brain washed fanatic, their eyes spoke,

But I wasn’t ... I hid my hair the moment I realized that women are and will always be regarded as commodities only for display and checking out. That our brain is a luxury we can’t afford…an obstacle before fulfilling our designated role. May be at a different time when the meaning of our existence is understood and practiced…may be then there will be no need to rebel or take cover at will.

We were advised to simply avoid trouble, stay away from harm’s way, and refrain from little coveted things that would only make us miserable. The Originator called them commandments, we called them restrictions and The Prince called them weapons and used them both skillfully and successfully. He even developed them into a science and a practice that is tried on each human, as a selected specimen for a test with guaranteed results of unquestionable submission, confusion or rejection.

Occasional disappointments confused and puzzled the Dark One and forced him to reevaluate his tactics, specially, when he started losing some allies of his kind and species. Deceived by his assurance that there will be no salvation for the likes of them, many of the Jin obeyed with bitterness and embraced his mission with unprecedented loyalty.

As I followed the footsteps of the founding fathers and mothers, I repeated one prayer… I wished to find my purpose and to be a tool in the hands of my maker… I prayed that my voice would reach the horizons that I would be directed towards a good purpose … I prayed for knowledge and eloquent speech to spread the light in dark times to save as much as I can many entangled and confused souls.

Book One: The Shield - Chapter Six - THE MISSION

2011-10-15T04:16:00.000-07:00

The Mission

I thought of the world… of the miserable people I saw every day struggling for the bread of the day … satisfied with what little things they have… dressed in white flowing drapes contrasting there chocolate glistening skin… how bad and how better could things ever get?

We were not them ...no one I knew was so unfortunate … I wanted to change everything for me, but suddenly I felt an urge to do the same for them as well …for every soul … every color … every creature with eyes that speak without a voice…I was miserable.

Since my unjustified survival, I felt that as I can’t have babies and since million others died in similar or different circumstances leaving orphans and men who lead new paths and carried grim memories of my likes, what am I supposed to do for them or am I needed for another purpose… may be a grander mission than the typical one I was imagining for myself…

Wombs define women … I was womb-less … I no longer fit within the category … My compassion defined my femininity … my fragility and beauty defined my womanhood that’s all.

I was thriving in the adoration of my precious gift, my little –round-moon-faced-creamy-golden boy… he was almost three … already starting school… a few months ago he was still suckling in my arms the warm fluid that was his … throwing his tender glares and side smiles at my face.

Adorable and gorgeous is an understatement … he deserved my survival but I knew deep down it was for a bigger cause than maternity.

Two visions struck me throughout the year that I have lived in the heart of the black continent. I never figured them out but they left me serene and confused.

A solemn old man inviting me to a vast place with white marbled floors … Me sitting on the floor cradling my slightly bulging tummy … a soft smile caressing my lips as people of all colors and ages stretch their arms to touch mine…

The second, was shorter … I was carried by the wind, an old man seen from above stretched his arm up in my direction and threw a wide grin of recognition at me…I could hear in my ears the verses “and the earth illuminated with the light of its Lord..”

Those visions imprinted themselves in my memory but they have never carried any meaning for me. The year flew by and it was time to leave; this time to eastern desert of Arabia...I was thrilled by the fact that I could visit holy lands; I would follow in the foot steps of people who were loved by our Maker.

The dreams were premonitions of a status that represented my mission, I have learned eventually. I felt a change and the anticipation for the unknown calling. I was absolutely excited to finally answer the Originators invitation to go to his sacred spot and be one with his perpetual cosmic dance.

Book One: The Shield - Chapter Five - THE LOGIC

2011-10-15T03:39:00.000-07:00

The Logic

It had occurred to me at the beginning of the new millennium that my move to the heart of Africa for a year was the beginning of a new life for me. I spent my days playing and raising my pretty baby … healing, and most important, contemplating the out come of a life that could have ended so suddenly…. I thought of the abrupt change of heart that overwhelmed my husband just a few months after my son was born!

The unbelievable twists of fate … what is real? What shall remain? Who is really there for me? What do I want? Why did I get a second chance? Were some of the questions that filled my racing thoughts.

It didn’t take me long to realize that the most valuable things to me then are worthless when your life is at stake… people change ..their hearts change …there is absolutely nothing to rely on if you search for stability or security… I lost faith in finding a refuge in the hearts of those who are closest to me … the only tangible reality Is a new thread of a life that was gone for sure … until the Originator chose to resurrect me and grant me the gift of a second life.

It was a time for cleansing …for singing his words at the heart of the night …as the deserts did what they do best …blow endless grains of red orangey dust… I thrived in the hours I sat alone digesting meaning out of his message …speaking to Him speaking to me.

I saw beyond the exterior of things … I learned the language of the soul… I saw the thoughts behind the eyes which flickered to hide their secrets and weave different stories than the ones I saw and understood…

I needed to trust my inner voice … it was something I had to learn despite the distracting voices of hollow people I used to meet all around. We were put together outside the context of a typical life. I got to know and enjoy for the first time the peace of being alone with my man and my child.

It was a year for healing and rebirth…I knew my values …I knew my goals … I received my new visions… and overcame the hardships.

Book One: The Shield - Chapter Four - THE PROPHECY

2011-10-15T03:32:00.000-07:00

The Prophecy

A perfect pregnancy, for a perfect child was ripe… the first signs were due…the giant meteor crossed the skies it was 1997… the Prince was mad… I was unaware of the calamity that was ahead of me … I was leading the clichéd life … the portrayed challenges of married life…

Curling in my bed … I’ve received her soft call disrupting my sleep… “Come tomorrow,” she hissed sweetly… “It will take no time” … “you are ready”… “We mustn’t wait”… “Let’s do It before I go”… I obeyed blindly … the morning shined on me still reading the holy words of protection … I was afraid of the pain… but willing to bare anything to embrace my precious SON…

I cried as she forced her untimely birth on my stubborn protective womb… and it ruptured in despair … between a state of unconsciousness and streaming blood, the snatching and the pushing, the echoes and the blurred visions, I watched with closed eyes those who worked on my lifeless body…I knew then that this was the end as I asked myself is this how death feels?…

No body knew why or how did I survive the complete loss of my blood, the multiple operations and the complications… it was a miracle … many came to see the epic survival of a twenty five year old woman who looked like a fifteen year old, and her captivating child.

I gave birth to a Golden Boy… he shined with beauty and light … red hair … copper and amber silk covered his beautiful creamy skin… a spectacle for all who were present….

An angelic face gazed at me behind little slumbering eyes that gazed into the cores of mine…the remarkable comment was that he is a little man … ten years latter … they still refer to him as the man child for his handsomeness and delicate features were embraced by unexplainable maturity and pride…. We called him LIGHT… THE LIGHT OF FAITH…

As He evolved before our eyes, he never failed to amaze us with his wit, unprecedented maturity and solid wisdom. The only worry I faced was the way people are drawn onto him and his looks … the only fear is his suffering afterwards as their envious gazes caused him to wither and sickened his fragile body exposing him to serious threats. Their demons awaited the signs to act and slash his resistance with each gaze.

The attacks have always been severe …. But only the prayers and the divine protection kept him safe. I believe… that his suffering is meant to make him see, feel and identify with the weak. …I believe that his early struggle with his physical challenges is there to equalize his pride for his beauty and special gifts. He is a child that has to be a man. He is a child that has to mature too soon. ..He simply has to be perfect…

The Originator made me see, I sacrificed like father Abraham, the blood of the lamb and gave it to the needy to save and spare my son… Deep down I knew I had to give an offering so that the evil scheme is terminated and only good can emerge out of this catastrophe ... Light’s second operation went fine … I fail to find the words to thank you my maker … I understand your wisdom … I believe … I accept.

Book One: The Shield - Chapter Three - MY STORY

2011-10-15T03:28:00.000-07:00

My Story

2008 … now…I am at the prime of maturity …at a crossroad …I put my life to a halt… I suddenly realized that a prophecy, ancient and holy relates my past, my present and a future that I hope to fulfill. A prophecy that gives me purpose everyday as I awake…

All my life I have lived in isolation, contemplating and digesting and extracting the wisdom behind my miserable circumstances… it’s true that my roots extend to the holy land …and the privileged ones of the past… it shows in the softness of my skin and the glow I was granted as I progressed…I am the grand daughter of an exceptionally unique and beautiful woman with undeniable charm, kindness and generosity, Who saved me from the misery of living with my withered mother, an absent father and a neurotic brother.

As a child…I cried … I rebelled …I ran away … I got back … I shrunk … then I’ve seen the soothing dreams as I stepped into adolescence, but deciphered no meaning…I had to study …I am so small and weak …I needed to gain respect … to be someone … to be recognized not pitied … not any more.

I fell in love … I was twelve … I fancied no other … I wanted him to love me back … but he didn’t … I was a no body …I was the silent , the shy, the one that no one picks from school, who comes and goes in the shade… I didn’t know I was beautiful … I was too fragile and delicate … but I never cried … I never allowed the tears to surface … boys cried … he cried … but never I … something within me refused defeat … something within me fought back … sometimes I collapsed and curled inside my closet wishing that the darkness would swallow me for the loneliness was killing…

My maker gave me the talent … my refuge … I painted people … people in other worlds happy and surreal… their eyes looked into mine and saw me when no one else did.

Then, my grand mother saved me… she couldn’t save me before, it was the time when I was destined to be saved and shaped; I was sixteen with an immense task ahead of me … school was almost over … the dream of a future was ahead …so, she took me in… fed me … dressed me… talked to me as no one has ever done before … she gave me a voice … a character… admired me … kissed me in the morning and before I went to bed… with a weak heart and a mighty spirit she recovered me and transformed my life.

It was then that my love saw me … she told me he will… she told me I could get what I want… do what I want and achieve what I want by calling onto THE ONE in whose hands lies the destiny of all …

And I did … and my love loved me back and promised to make me his… and he did in years to come.

I prayed for her to survive at least till I am eighteen till I’m strong… her burdened heart was letting her spirit down…my eyes spoke… “you can’t leave now”… “I won’t stand losing you” … “I know you will be safe and the agony and the pain will go” … “but not now”…

she kept me for another year… and died … when I turned eighteen… and I cried the tears I have held back for years and I cry now and I always cry when I breath her memories in and I cry when I remember her beautiful eyes when I journeyed in them and asked my self shall I ever see them again?

I survived the loss and the tears but my perception of destiny changed… I realized that I have no control over my life…that a better future might stretch ahead if I and my love could make it through and start a life as husband and wife.

It took years …prayers … patience …. planning …and lots…lots of love… We formed an unconditional bond to be together… we put our trust in our maker… and it worked.